Vampire's Lament (with thanks to Heather Blackwell)

Vampire's Lament (with thanks to Heather Blackwell)

4 oz Trader Joe's spinach and chive linguine
18 cubic in tofu
2 cloves garlic
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp salt
1 dash oregano
2 tbsp vegetable oil

Boil 2 cups water upon the stove and add the pasta to the water. Meanwhile, pour the oil into a frying pan, render the garlic into tiny pieces, and disperse the garlic in the oil. Divide the tofu into equally-sized polyhedra and press each piece with a paper towel to remove any excess water. Once the garlic has begun to sizzle, add the tofu to the oil and fry it such that both sides become crisped and golden-brown. This is perhaps a good time to sprinkle it with the garlic powder. When the pasta has achieved a state of firmness which is to your liking, strain it with a colander and mix in the tofu, salt, and oregano. Garlic is the primary element in this dish, renowned for its tastiness, health benefits, and apotropaic properties.