Breakfast Gone Wild

Breakfast Gone Wild

3 eggs
1 tomato
1/2 cup spinach
1 oz mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup milk
2 slices wheat bread

Stir the eggs and the milk together so thoroughly that they become an irreducible aggregate, wholly indistinct from one another. Butter a frying pan with an equal measure of thoroughness. Slice up the tomato and spinach into tiny pieces. Pour the egg/milk mixture into the pan, and heat on medium until the egg/milk mixture begins to solidify. Distribute the tomato, spinach, and cheese evenly atop the surface of the egg/milk mixture, and very carefully use a spatula to flip one side of the egg/milk disk along a diameter such that a half-circle is created, enveloping the tomato, spinach, and cheese entirely within*. When you feel that one side of the omelette is sufficiently heated, flip it over and continue to cook until all of the egg/milk mixture has solidified. Meanwhile, toast two slices of bread** and serve.

*N.B. For a proper "Breakfast Gone Wild," be sure to use at least twice the amount of tomato and spinach that will plausibly fit inside your egg/milk half-circle. The recommended amounts are sufficient for this purpose. This will allow for a difficult and unflippable mess that will truly "go wild" and resist any attempts at taming. For a more conventional "Standard Omelette," cut the tomato and spinach measurements in half.

**Another crucial element in a true "Breakfast Gone Wild" is toast that has been severely blackened, almost to the point of inedibility.